this morning. the morning after Christmas. i was determined to seek Redemption from yesterday’s disastrous moments. yes, we had pockets of shalom and we celebrated, in small ways, the birth of our Saviour. but the expectations of a day filled with shalom. a day filled with joy were quickly shattered.
because the reality is we are a family of 8 who are broken. we are a family full of sinners. we are a family that can very easily get caught up in our own wants, desires, expectations and then have to deal with the consequences of all THAT.
so…this morning, i put on my walking shoes and took my middles (q and kiki) with me and we hit the ground walking. while walking, the events of yesterday kept circling in my mind until He brought me to a verse in luke 2 where luke writes, “but mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” [v. 19]. she didn’t complain (at least, that’s not what we’re told). mary’s life was flipped upside down and yet she chose to treasure and ponder everything in her heart. and then the question, “can you? can you treasure and ponder everything in your heart that took place yesterday?”. insert sinking heart feeling.
and it wasn’t too far into my walk when he reminded me of Israel. of course. why wouldn’t He? He knows how i treasure that land, those people, the history, and the sweet time i had there last summer. so what part did He remind me of? it was this, “remember ‘learn with your feet'”.
oh yes. ‘learn with your feet’ was a line we were told by our shepherd/rabbi/pastor as we hiked through the land of Israel last summer. because that is how the Israelites learned and how the disciples learned. there was/is so much richness to those four words because not only did i learn the terrain of Israel with my feet (the narrow paths, the rocky, steep inclines). i learned about faith, trust, perseverance with my feet (and my heart. and my mind).
so…these feet of mine may have to do some back-tracking to make right the wrongs from yesterday. they may have to walk up to certain family members so that i may offer an apology and ask for forgiveness. they may have to walk into a closet and collapse under my legs to fall prostrate before my Saviour Lord and King in utter repentance and confession of this cold heart of mine. they may. truthfully, they will.
they will get back up in humility, surrender, and with full intention of following the One True Shepherd, whose humble birth we celebrated yesterday, and live out the inconvenience of the Gospel.
so that i, too, may look back at yesterday and be able to treasure and ponder all these things in my heart.
one of the things i have to do this coming year is get a better grip on my health. i gave up smoking and drinking six months ago with the help of Holy Spirit. and it was such a huge gift to be able to walk away from those shackles FOREVER. but now. now. i need to go deeper and cut out the other “go to’s” when life gets out of hand and instead i need to be more intentional about eating health-IER and getting outside to move (walk or run) MORE.
it’s that same sense of cleansing that Holy Spirit used to nudge me and convict me of my “idols” that keeps stirring in my heart, soul, and mind. and i see it all over in Scripture. this cleansing that Father desires for me and for all his children is a holy, reverent, and humble cleansing of heart, body, soul, and mind.
this temple that he has entrusted to me needs a deep cleaning. and i stand in complete surrender of that…not at all sure what that looks like. but i know. that i know. that i know. He will do it.
so…who’s with me? who’s ready to do some nitty-gritty temple cleanin’? if you’re in, come join us on fb at http://www.facebook.com/40daystofreedom. we’d love to have you join us “learn with your feet”!